Getting it real. The first photos of WIW today show my spotty, veiny legs. The next two show me wearing a more scooped neckline top than usual. It is cooler for summer heat but also reveals spotty, crepey skin and flat chest. I hope others will wear what is comfortable in hot weather even if not very flattering.
This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.
35 Comments
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LACeleste replied 7 years ago
Hi Joy,
Not invalidating your concerns, but I see no flaws. Just loveliness. You are very elegant!
ETA: I am covered with freckles and my chest has lots of spots too.
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Firecracker (Sharan) replied 7 years ago
You look great, Joy! I really like the long cardigan that reaches just beyond the edge of your skirt. Good for you for baring your skin; let's hope these photos help you see what we see--style and beauty!
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replied 7 years ago
It may be hypocritical of me, since I'm not always kind to myself, but it is hard to see you point out flaws in yourself. I took Angie's post as a stand to be content with ourselves and others. It is sometimes hard to do that, but positive language is a place for me to start.
Fwiw, I see put together and current in the photos.
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Joy replied 7 years ago
Good point, Delurked. I meant to show that I am getting older by the minute and accept the changes and hope to inspire others to accept their bodies too. I usually have tried to dress to put emphasis on the better areas but sometimes it is too difficult. Age is going to bring fashion challenges and one could go nuts trying to do damage control rather than just accept the new reality.
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replied 7 years ago
I hear you, and I feel the same way. For some reason, the last year has been a tough adjustment about aging for me. I had sworn off sleeveless going forward, but I decided to rethink my position as I live in a hot climate. In fact, I went several years without wearing shorts, but a couple years ago I brought them back too. Believe me, when I look around, I see others not confining themselves, and decided I shouldn't either. Luckily, we are mostly harder on ourselves than others are on us. And if that's not the case, I don't want to know ;)
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Lucy replied 7 years ago
Well, when I look at you I don't see a thirty year old, but nor do I see saggy skin or spots. What I see is a stylish woman who looks fabulous.
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Bonnie replied 7 years ago
You do look fabulous. I love your style.
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Ledonna N. replied 7 years ago
Thank you for being so bold. I think YLF by the way. I also think because we live with ourselves we see what we think are our flaws.
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Judy replied 7 years ago
This is my first post. I love hearing that I'm not alone in my obsessions! Your photos show a lovely, classy woman--yet I understand that your own close-up view would show imperfections that the rest of us can neither see nor care about!
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Colette replied 7 years ago
Joy, you look beautiful and are very inspiring.
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Chris987 replied 7 years ago
You look classy, beautiful, very stylish and you (and others) are so right that we are our own worst critics.
Do any of our friends/family ever say "your <body part> is looking <negative words>...you should dress to cover it up"...? No one I know does that, at least not consciously. I guess there are some fools who might say negative things but I don't run into them. It's like we are all afraid of something other people are really NOT thinking :-)
Love your comment about how doing damage control can ruin your life where accepting the new reality is much better. I think it applies to a lot of areas beyond fashion. Best to accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative...(like that old song from the 40's)
Love the outfit!!! You do neutrals really well.
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RobinF replied 7 years ago
You look great! Love the long sweater and that skirt is great!
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Angie replied 7 years ago
You look WONDERFUL.
I see lovely legs and décolleté. Rock on, and well done.
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Joy replied 7 years ago
".Decollete"! That's the word that would not come to mind...another joy of aging, all those words and names that you know but just don't manifest themselves when you need them.
Thank you each for your encouraging words.
Chris, I've found that while adults don't mention our aging bits, children do. They notice and younger ones will ask about big blue ropey veins or chin hairs.
The shock is looking in the mirror and seeing your grandmother when you feel that basic inner you is still the same as it always has been. But time ticks on and there is no stopping it or turning it back -
Sara L. replied 7 years ago
I think you look great - very current. I really like the pattern on your skirt and the soft neutral cardigan. It's so hot in the summers here that I think most people "let it all hang out" so to speak. I don't usually notice imperfections in others (although I can be highly critical of myself), I focus more on fit and proportion.
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Summer replied 7 years ago
I just see a stylish, elegant woman, Joy.
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replied 7 years ago
Oh, Joy, you're an inspiration. I see a beautiful poised, elegant woman with fabulous style. I adore your classy neutral palette here.
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replied 7 years ago
YLF. Joy. I love how you paired the skirt with a long cardi, it looks so elegant.
I appreciate your diving in on the summer challenge (still too cold for me, but I will be jumping on board when it gets above 80). This outfit is a perfect example to me of how artful, stylish dressing can hide perceived flaws, even those we believe are in plain sight. The classic sophistication of your outfit and your poise in the pics mean I don't notice the issues you mention. In these pics, you look like you're feeling confident (even if you aren't) and that confidence is what catches my eye.
To delurked's point: since the challenge is designed to help us work past our various concerns, I think we need to name those concerns so others know where we are coming from. I don't think this means we are negatively focused on flaws, just pointing out what we are either trying to accept, or we *do* accept and we think society doesn't. (But if I got that wrong, please someone enlighten me so when I do post, i don't sound like I'm being too hard on myself).
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Suz replied 7 years ago
Joy, you look beautiful and elegant -- full stop. Brava for choosing to wear what will be comfortable in the heat.
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kerry replied 7 years ago
Thank you for this, Joy. Most of the ladies around me at your age have given up for the comfies. Nothing wrong with that but it's nice to see you here so stylish. You're a great role model. And, like everyone else, I don't see flaws but rather beauty!
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Aida replied 7 years ago
Hello lovely legs! Joy you look as gorgeous as always. Good for you to get the ball rolling right away, overheating is SUCH good extra motivation isn't it? :) I hope you felt as breezy and comfortably elegant as you look!
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Jaime replied 7 years ago
You look wonderful. Spotty legs and aging skin are not even on the list of what anyone would notice.
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rachylou replied 7 years ago
Joy, I love this. It's wonderfully at ease.
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SarahTheWhite replied 7 years ago
I love this! You look so beautiful, and I think Rachy's description "wonderfully at ease" is perfection. Do you know how many times I have looked at your WIW's and thought how nice it would be to look as trim and fit as you do? Thank you for following Angie's example and embracing your summer body, I need to do the same...
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catgirl replied 7 years ago
My post did not go through! I think you look amazing. I just read an article about a young woman who supposedly has the perfect facial ratio scientifically. She is very pretty, of course, but one male commenter stated "her face tells no story" and that really struck me. The people I truly find most attractive are the ones whose faces look like they have stories to tell. Nothing wrong with perfection but so called "flaws" are what add character in my mind.
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Joy replied 7 years ago
Dear YLF friends, I am overwhelmed, too overcome reading your uplifting comments to do much responding. I had a meeting to attend tonight and was amazed and encouraged by all your wisdom and kindness. Thank you so much for providing a lovely ending for the day, sunshine after the clouds and rain.
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CocoLion replied 7 years ago
I think you are elegant and beautiful. And I think your skin is in very, very good condition, you should not hesitate to show it off.
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MellisaM replied 7 years ago
Hi joy! Do not scruple showing your skin. You look beautiful. Rather being dissatisfied learn to embrace yourself.
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Jjsloane replied 7 years ago
I see a stylish outfit and if you hadn't mentioned it would not have thought twice about legs. Keep on baring those gams!
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Bijou replied 7 years ago
You look beautiful and elegant - this is a great summer look that I hope you will enjoy wearing.
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Sally replied 7 years ago
I think you look lovely Joy. You look well put together and stylish. I wouldn't have noticed anything but that.
I also liked Una's link.... it is interesting that our mere features don't make us interesting to others....its the life in us.
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dakotacheryl replied 7 years ago
Hey Joy...you took a photo of my upper chest LOL.
I always love your WIW photos.
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Beth Ann replied 7 years ago
Joy, you have been an inspiration to me on the forum -- I always look to find women who are slightly ahead of me on the road, and you you walk down the road of time with elegance and flair!
Dressing to obscure certain bits is what I call "camo dressing" or "defensive dressing" and, while it works on some levels, it's exhausting! I suspect it's far more emotionally healthy to dress to express and reveal (appropriately, of course) oneself, rather than to hide.
And I think you look terrific!
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Mirjana replied 7 years ago
You look wonderful, stylish and elegant always. Spotty legs and aging skin are not important that is life.
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JAileen replied 7 years ago
We are all getting older. Don't forget how bad the alternative is.
I really think you look wonderful. I love your silver hair and your stylish outfits. You are inspiring.